


give me your light and I'll give you my love

by Waistcoat35



Series: they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered [20]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Flustered Richard, Humour, I would put a keysmash there but for anyone using text to speech that would be horrible so no, M/M, Richard 'Acts of Service' Ellis, Richard Is Whipped, Smoking, he's lost in the thomas sauce y'see, read my stuff, the title is a cigarette pun im so so sorry, why do people like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25946755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waistcoat35/pseuds/Waistcoat35
Summary: “You can borrow mine.”
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772770
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82





	give me your light and I'll give you my love

'Bugger,' Thomas mutters, muffled by the cigarette between his lips, as he pats down his pockets and realises - he's left his lighter at the bloody flat. He has been trying to smoke less - he _has_ , at Richard's insistence, and Baxter's, but occasionally the urge becomes too strong to ignore, like now. It's late, and they've gone on a wander to a local park, and somehow have wound up perched on a bench for the last hour, talking about any old things - until they weren't talking about _any_ old things, and now the conversation's already swerved into territory that Thomas doesn't like. Richard had instantly noticed his discomfort, his words choked as though he was struggling to let them slip through a crack in a door without letting the mountain of other things behind it through, and changed the topic, but his heart is still racing nonetheless and he feels a bit sick and he _really_ fucking needs that cigarette, so help him- 

'Hey, hey,' Richard murmurs, interrupting his near-frantic search, and Thomas swears, he loves this man but if he's just going to try and convince him he doesn't need one anyway-

There is a hand hovering around his chin, proffering something smooth and starlight-silvery. 

'Here, love. Borrow mine.'

It's. A lighter. 

Thomas blinks at the offering, as though Richard has whipped out the holy grail and is holding it under his nose like a parcel of smelling salts. From somebody else, the offer, at least, would not surprise him. But here's the thing.

Richard Ellis doesn't smoke. 

Richard Ellis has never smoked. 

Richard Ellis owns a lighter, and doesn't smoke, and Thomas doubts that it's because he has to make many impromptu campfires in the middle of Hyde Park and gets bored of banging rocks together. 

'Why,' he manages, 'the _bloody hell_ do you have that.'

Richard is very, very red, all of a sudden. His mouth is slightly open, and Thomas wants dearly to reach over and press it shut with one finger on Richard's chin, but he's a bit too preoccupied with the matter at hand. Also, it is not that often that Richard 'Pedantry' Ellis is lost for words, and he's quite enjoying the sight of it.

'Why do you have a lighter when you don't smoke,' he says, in the same tone as choice questions such as ' _Why did you throw the book, Andy,' and 'Listen,_ chum _'._

Finally, Richard blinks rapidly a few times, and gathers himself somewhat. 'Never know when you might get caught out,' he rasps.

Thomas cocks an eyebrow. 'And why on earth would that matter?' He's taken the cigarette out of his mouth to talk, holds it delicately between two fingers, and likewise Richard draws the lighter away a bit.

Richard shrugs, and seems to know he's been sussed out. 'Well.'

'You don't _smoke_.' Thomas isn't sure why he's so fixed on this - the hour, his tiredness, the fact it's some kind of an escape from the conversation they'd been having?

'You do.' And there it is. Richard pinkens even further with the admission, gaze flickering away for a moment, head tilting as if he's trying to redirect where he's looking entirely. Thomas has seen the same many a time - the first was in the servant's hall, that first time, Richard's boss giving his high and mighty speech to the staff, Richard tense behind him, jaw clenched, eyes carefully not meeting anybody else's. Ashamed to be a part of it, ashamed to be cast away from it. He knows this look and it makes him ache, so he finally reaches out and takes Richard's chin - it's not a grip, just placing the tiniest bit of pressure on it with the tips of his fingers - and encourages Richard to look at him again. It's late enough that the park is empty, and anyone who wanders through is probably going to be piss-drunk anyway, so he keeps his hand there, slides it to Richard's jaw - where he thankfully isn't too tense, not as much as that summer - runs a thumb across his cheek.

'Thanks,' Thomas says, not a murmur this time, loud enough to be heard properly. 'Far be it from me to know how I found someone so thoughtful-' Richard opens his mouth again, presumably for a spiel about how Thomas deserves everything (which Thomas can't handle in his current emotional state, _Jesus_ -) and Thomas places a finger on Richard's lips, just the same as that night that feels so long ago, now. 'But I'm glad, every day, that I did. And that it was you.' Richard's gaze gleams, grateful, as Thomas takes the finger from his lips. He is offered the lighter again, flicked open in Richard's hand, and he places the cigarette in his mouth and waits. Richard gets the hint and a soft flicker of a flame appears, as Thomas' cigarette is lit for him.

And a thousand lights just like it burn in the sky above the park, above them, and they talk into the small hours some more.


End file.
